First All the happy:) My hubby is turning the big 28 in 12 days, we have been together 6 years in 3 weeks, gosh I can't believe how time has flown, and lastly princess and I will be going home in 15 days to see my family!
Needless to say we are very busy right now. Hubby working and me trying to get all my clients in before I leave and getting in as much family time in as well.
Then there are the sad/bittersweet moments in this month. Today being one of them.
Today Matt and I would be married 7 years.
Its hard to believe seven years ago I was walking down the aisle to say 'I do' to the man I thought I would spend the rest of MY life with. I remember walking to him and never once thinking our happiness could end and I pictured us rocking on our wraparound porch at the age of 70 sipping sweet tea.
It was at the young age of 19 the best day of my life.
I miss him so.
I wonder sometimes what our life would be like now. How many kids we would have, where we would be, and all the other little details of life.
I miss the way he said 'I can't'. He couldn't say it like a normal person lol he said it with his sexy Kentucky accent. It drove me crazy but I would do anything just to hear him say it one more time.
So today is bittersweet. I will remember the sweetest man and husband that God gave me 7 years ago and all the happiness we shared as a married couple in our short lifetime together. I love you forever and ever MY MATT<3 div="div">
And now to the sad.....
This month will mark one year since the last time I saw or spoke to my sister.
I miss her more than words can describe.
I have told my husband countless times how this feels worse than when Matt died. The reason being that I knew I wouldn't be seeing him again and that death is final, I knew he was gone. With my sister on the other hand, I know she is alive. I know there is the possibility of seeing her again but that she doesn't want to be seen.
I feel like a part of me has died.
I was just thinking yesterday that the one person I would call just to talk about nothing with and laugh over the silly things I do, the only one who would understand me in all my weirdness wants nothing to do with me.
There is a constant ache in my stomach when I think of her. I dream of her at least 3 times a week and every dream she comes back into my life.
I long to lay on the bed and her be upside down and laugh til we pee our pants because of how hilarious it is to watch a mouth move upside down! haha
I miss seeing her with my little girl. She has missed so much in this last year of her life. I know she would be so proud of her and just die watching her play and all the silly things she does.
I know God is in complete control over all of this and I just wish He would restore our family.
I question Him everyday why He hasn't.
I miss her.
At one time in my life August was to be the happiest month of the year. Though through the years this month has brought lots of sadness my God brought me the man that would bring life and happiness back in it.
Happy birthday my Tom and happy six years of being together:) I love you and thank you for being my light in the darkness.
