I don't normally talk of religion or beliefs in a setting like this but lately that has been on my mind.....
I grew up in a Christian home, with loving Christian parents. We were in the church every time the doors were open, we went to the Christian school, and we were all in ministries.
At the age of 17 I got the assurance of my salvation because of the many doubts I had along the way plus I never remember there being a moment in time I asked my Saviour into my life.
After graduating high school and getting married a year later I moved to a little town with my new husband. We went to the church we were expected to go to since his father was the pastor and all. It was nothing I had ever experienced in my life. So very different in so many ways.
Once I went back to my home town I went to the church I was raised in once again. That is when things started to change for me.
I really kind of stopped going after a while one because I got tired of people asking me how I was doing, two it was just plain to hard!
Being away started to really make me think about a lot of things though.
I have always wanted to raise my children in church because that is where I learned so much about Jesus. But when did we start thinking that the only way for our little ones to learn the stories and verses was in sunday school or the mid week sessions?
When did it become ok to put people on some pedestal and expect so much from then just because of who they are?
I believe the Bible says we are all equal in HIS eyes and therefore should be treated as such.
When did being a Christian mean that you had to dress a certain way, look a certain way and if you anything but that, you are worldly?
Recently I was told that the godly Rhena they knew would never say anything about anyone even if is was true and that they looked up to me as their role model of a godly young lady.
What did I do to put myself in a position to be thought of this way with such high expectations?
I have always been very real and outspoken and I do admit that that has gotten me in trouble at times.
I love my Jesus with all my heart and He has shown Himself more to me in the last year than ever before. But me loving Him does not mean that I must live up to certain expectations for others. I don't want to be the one that gets put in a box and looked at a certain way. I want people to know and see that Jesus has loved me despite all I has done and that through Him loving me, I have a love for Him that shows through my kindness to others, a forgiving spirit(still working on that one), a loving touch, and a desire to serve Him in the way HE sees fit. I will never be perfect and nor do I really strive to be but I do strive to be like my Jesus. He didn't care where the poor man walked, He still walked beside him, He didn't care what the prostitute wore, He still loved her, so why do we judge on what is on the outside instead of the heart?
My prayer is that we love the heart of a man not his exterior.
Yes people stumble, we say things we don't mean or without thinking, but we also say the truth and are shunned for it.
Maybe this makes no sense and quite honestly I'm still trying to make sense of it all as well but I know I am loved despite myself and that He will never stop loving me no matter what!
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