We all have chapters we go through in life. Some short others very long. Some are extremely happy and some are very sad. There are boring chapters and normal chapters.
Looking back most of my life has had normal chapters. The past 6 years has brought the extremely happy yet very sad chapters. Some say by now I should be "over" all of this and no longer talking about it or bringing up things from the past. Well I'm here to tell you all that I will never be "OVER" this nor do I want to be. It has defined who I have become and why would I want to change that.
To get over something is essentially forgetting it. So what they are really saying is forget the past six years like they never happened! NO!!!!!!!!!!
God has finally brought me to the spot He has been trying to get me to for a while now. He has been throwing huge hints at me for a few years but I have been to afraid to take them. I felt like if I completely let go then I was forgetting my first love. What I have learned is that closing this chapter and letting go is not forgetting him at all. Instead I'm letting go of the chains and holding onto the love and memories 'we' had. No one can ever take that from me! I have no bitterness anymore and haven't for a while now just to clear that up. And I'm not hurting anyone I love anymore either because I have chosen to get help and work through my problems not just forget them!
I will always love the people in my chapters but a good book always has an ending. My book is still being written but the longest chapter is finally done! I can't tell you how relieving it is to say that.
I have wanted this for so long just didn't know how to get there. I'm glad the action has finally been taken and I can finally focus on what is right in front of me....my little family<3 Thomas James Frounfelker and Kaitlynn Irhena Frounfelker I love you both with every part of my being.
Matthew Nathanael Payne....you will always be in my heart and I will always love you. You know where you are in our family and the place where you sit. Tom, Kaity and I will forever be grateful for you because without you we wouldn't have our family. Kaity will know you and love you for what you have given her. Tom will forever appreciate the person you helped me become and for allowing him to love me. And I my love will NEVER forget the love we shared and the special memories we made. We were a true family you and I and you will always be a part of the family I have now.
Present and future show me what you are holding for me...Past you no longer have a hold on me or my family!
If you have a chapter you are holding onto its ok. In time you will have the peace to let it go and move forward. Until them forgive yourself and give yourself permission to finish the chapter in your time!
No comments:
Post a Comment